Unfunny jokes

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says, "Give me some chapstick. Put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and does not understand him. He questions if God is punishing him because as all people know, ducks cannot speak, so this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?


Because it would not be financially viable to attempt
to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated
rainforest.

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A horse sits down at a bar and asks the bartender for a martini.
The police show up and the horse gets humanely euthanized.

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A white guy. a black guy, and a homosexual walk into a bar together.
They're a prime example of an integrated community.

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A man walks into a bar...
His alcoholism is killing his family

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A white guy and a black guy walk into a club together.
They are beaten to death because the club is populated with homophobic Mexicans

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Q:When a turtle loses his shell, is he either naked or homeless?

A: He's dead. It's attached to his skin

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Why did the chicken cross the road?
The confusion of being in an urban setting disoriented the chicken. It was then killed by a drunk driver.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven?

A: It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus are incapable of feeling fear.

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Q: How do you call a hispanic working at a restaurant?
A: An employee.

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Q: Why are black people so good at basketball?
A: They practice.

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What do you call a black man that flies planes?
A pilot.

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Why is having sexual intercourse with thirty four year olds better than twenty four year olds?

Because they are wiser and more likely to stick with a relationship.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

With no real grasp on social ettiquette, he was never invited

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?

One is an act of cruel, sick murder and one is a sportscar manufactured by General Motors.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

>The holocaust

What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone?
>Dropping 2 ice cream cones
What's worse than dropping 2 ice cream cones?
>Dropping three ice cream cones
What's worse than dropping three ice cream cones?
>The holocaust
What's worse than the holocaust?
>Dropping four ice cream cones.

HAHA im done for now