Prom and the sniffles

I had this little, what could you call it, fantasy? Dream? Pick a word, im not so sure..
A fantasy of my senior year, back in my late freshman year. Dreams of how wonderful and amazing prom would be and the person i was to take. This lasted till my mid-late sophmore years, when i felt that dream really flourished, when i was soo sure on how that day was supposed to happen.
And in my junior years, ohh, the fascination, my heart was soo set..
Till it was crushed around early senior year, around November, from there, i wasnt soo sure on anything after that..

I felt like, all time i spent thinking about my futures, for the past few years, was.. in reality.. a waste of time...

All my mixed and bottled emotions, they stay with me, and will continue with me
Its shit i cannot let go...

So i sit today, alone at my table for lunch
Eating plain rice..

And im thinking, all those hours and years, thinking about special things i could do in the future, and im just sitting here, alone...
There is noone to blame for ANY of this, but myself, my lack of taking extreme risks and expressing my feelings...

I sit there alone, and im thinking about the rest of my class, 2008.
So many of them, this is the most exciting part of there lives to date, they are ready to enjoy there night and events to follow.

And im sitting here, alone, eating rice..

I was going to go to Music @ the pointe, but when i think about it, and someone else brought this up to me... If i do go, im gonna be alone there.
There isnt really ANY reason to go, if im just alone..

If i do go, get around to talking to people, im sure they will ask how others are doing, and what im i to say?
Oh they are getting ready for prom, and im just a loner whos gonna hang around little kids for no apparent reason whatsoever..
That, and anything i do today, remindes me of stuff i stated earlier, and that just continues to bring me down...


Not long, this chapter of my life will close, forever finishing the book of my life..
And from the finished book, perhaps i will find a place ethereal to.....

Also, i got the sniffles, it sucks...